All Mouth and Trousers

by Marc Carver

I told her i had come in here to get enough beer
to drink myself to death.
She told me she was hard up for sex.
"I only want a man for sex that will do me." she said."
I said i was available during the day.

She asked me a few more questions and i guess she changed her mind.
She told me she had one offer already today.
"Does it really work like that, you know i am quite shy when it comes to this.
It is that simple you just ask and then you get it or not."
"It is someone at work," she said
"I don't really want that."

We talked some more as she handed out the free Christmas pud.
I said i would be up for seeing her again but she said i would see her on the tills
I guess she was not quite as desperate as she made out but i walked out with no beer
still alive.