Asphalt

by Sarah E. White

He walks in with her
Defeated, deflated
Dragging his head low
It scrapes the asphalt
As he puts one foot in front of the other
Upon the asphalt
At least this feels real
Stinging his face
He wants to hide his tears
To collapse in a quiet release
In the defeat of surrender
A battle lost in silence
Fought by a brave man
Yet he walks in with her again
The same thing every other day
The focus is her, married to her mania
Surrounded by her selfish attempts
Wondering when she’ll succeed
When he won’t be able to save her
Every other day, he walks in
He sits, he waits
For her to recover
From her reality, or not
While he slowly withers
Patiently waiting for whatever happens
Waiting to begin a new day of his own
A day where he doesn't walk in with her
A day like tomorrow, which is his
Like it should be
Real doesn’t have to feel like scraping asphalt

After the Fall

by Sarah E. White

My own personal apocalypse
Losing all power
All control that I thought I had
Metaphorically and physically
My mind and my reality
Colliding in perfect unison
Dancing dangerously close to crazy
Spinning like a top
Twirling off this hard wooden table
Spinning into a collision carefully predetermined long ago
By someone other than me
I have watched my life, like that top
Shoot off sideways
I never really realized that the table was that tall
Or that the distance to the floor was that great
I am now mesmerized by the reality that I am about to collide with
My own aching truth
Stunned like that deer in those damn headlights
Then the crash
Then what?
What comes after that?
So I start to wonder as I lazily plummet
Is there anything after this fall?
Could this really be the ultimate of ends?
I hope for a new beginning
I hope, as I fall
As I spin straight off the edge
Straight off the end
Cataclysm or clarity await

Coming Down

by Sarah E. White

Feeling high
A sweet, sweet drug
The tingle on my skin, the heat of it pulsing through my veins
The pounding of my heart
Intensifying into a frenzy of wild and wonderful sensations
Breathing you in to me, completes me
In an almost unexplainable way
Filling my voids finally
Loving you is an addiction
The cravings are so strong, unbearable at times
Kisses penetrating into my lips right through my soul
Like the back heat of liquor soothing my throat
I drink you down
Warming me through and through
I am high on you
But even the best drug must come to an end
There is always the dreaded coming down
You leaving me is nothing but torture
I ache from your absence
My stomach in my throat from the force of the fall
You make me high
Flying above all that exists in my world
Then you clip my wings with one word, goodbye
I plummet
Falling face first through all of my feelings
Back down to the bottom
Leaving my body wrecked and weak
I huddle and shiver in the depths of this lowness
As I come down
Coming down from you

Autumn at its Ebb

By Sarah E. White

White and brown patches of cotton
Lay scattered along the road
With the bright yellow explosion of wilting Maples
Fiery red and amber leaves
Yanked from their anchor point yet again
Floating now down
Ever falling toward the cold hard ground
Autumn at its ebb
I watch it flow out
As the wave of winter begins to build on the horizon
Waiting to crash upon us
The earth prepares for the break
The sandy bleak colored grass
Sucking the last bit of life from the earth
An earth ready for hibernation
Ready now for rest
Time to shed its colorful layers and stand bare
In the cold of winter wind
Replaced hastily by the man made decorations
Of a season yet to come
The red, gold and green of giving and getting
Eating and drinking
Gouging ourselves on our gluttony
While the earth stands naked and shivers
Alone in the cold dark nights
Its bounty long since ripped from its belly
Laying now harvested
On the tables of the thankless
As that wave keeps crashing

Under the Night Sky

by Sarah E. White

The giant sky of night
Mocks me from its vantage point
With its deep dark depths of eternity
Leaving me wondering so many things
Questions I can’t even form
Questions that I have yet to learn the words too
The evening sky is vast
And it sits patiently waiting
With answers that have been a million years in the making
Waiting for me to sit here
So far below it
Sunken in the rut of humanity
Wondering
At last somehow I find the words
To form the thought
The question
Giant stars shining brightly upon me
Stars who have long since met their demise
But still possessing all knowledge in the infinite depths of night
I am lucky to gaze on them before their last twinkling
But before they wink out never to shine again
They pass on to me a part of their hidden secrets
Their light then passes to me
I suddenly find that clarity I had been searching for
It is finally in my grasp
Dispelling the darkness in my mind
Casting its glow on me here
All becomes illuminated under the giant sky of night

The Clothesline

by Sarah E. White

Looking out the window
I see my clothesline
A week’s worth of laundry hangs there patiently waiting
Waiting for the next gust of wind to toss it
This way and that
Seems like we’re waiting for the next gust to blow into our lives
I watch it now blow carelessly in the breeze
Rippling and rolling
As the wind blows through it
Undulating wildly against the unpredictable breeze
Flowing with it
Just going with the flow
Like an invisible wave cresting, then crashing into a gentle wind
Being moved by it
Propelled ever forward
Elevated then dropped
Bounding about around its ripples
Letting nature change its shape and course
Over and over again
A current of life and energy pushing it aside
Left and right
Forward and back again
If only I could be so moved
So flexible, propelled
Such lovely grace, unseen yet felt
Simply allowing the wind to blow
Permitting the breeze to pass over me
Being free to dance wildly
Casting my worry and cares out with my laundry
Setting them free into the breeze

Breathing

by Sarah E. White

Taking it all in
Inhaling every last bit
Love, hate, desire, loss, laughter and rage
Taking it in
I let it mix around in my mind
Churning through my soul
Until some sense can be made
Then I breathe it out
Push it out
Letting it flow into words
An idea or an answer
A poem
But sometimes I just can’t exhale
Some thoughts get trapped inside
Processing
Pushing on my insides
Burning
Screaming for release
I have to hold on to them
Until I can breathe them out
Breathe them out with some beauty
Breathe them out better than how they went in
Anger sometimes escapes
It bursts forth from my heart
Screaming
No beauty
Just the simple blinding flash of ferocity
Sometimes it’s not breathing at all
Sometimes it’s just hot air

The Well House

by Sarah E. White

In 1947 the men of my family worked in the rolling hills of Kentucky
On the small farm that we called home
Men as honed from the land as the stone blocks that they labored
As true as the mortar they mixed for their strong standing structure
Covering this hole in the earth with its life-giving water
The well house was finally complete
Now in 2011
A little piece of my history has vanished from the land
It has succumb to the minutes of time and machines of the present
Now just crumbles of rubble lay on a bare empty slab
Turned back to dust to blow over the land
Lonely is the sound as it drifts on the wind calling out to my memory
My history lost for another history’s making
Something so insignificant to others stands as a building block of my childhood
Leaves me teary eyed and remembering a time of stability
Another piece of childhood gone
Yet the well house stands strong in my memory in the perfect home of childhood
An anchor point holding firm in my thoughts
A landmark that will never be lost
The backbone of my back yard little world
An off limits place for hide and go seek
Oh how it tempted us with all of its mystery
With its perfectly dark inside
Something soothing about the scent from within
The ancient cobwebs and dust of a time gone by
It all seemed all so familiar
For the well house still stands with its life giving water
The well house stands on in my mind

Within Your Love

by Sarah E. White

Love is not a room
It’s not a place you go to and sit
To truly be in love is not like that at all
Instead it’s more like an ocean
Constantly moving and flowing
Splashing against my skin
Knocking me over
Or floating with in its current
Being swept away
Invigorated and rejuvenated by the sights and the sounds
Overwhelmed by how huge this love is
The energy of the waves driving into the shore
The crash and splash of them in each heart beat
Each kiss
Each beautiful exchange of thoughts
Imagination and ideas that can be shared within it
The mysteries that lie beneath the surface
How deep can I plunge?
The undulation of the vast surface
Waiting to be explored
Looking forward to a lifetime of exploring its depths
Falling and floating deeper within your love
It moves me about and I am weightless
I am free to swim
Free to explore
Free to be me within your love

The Soothing Twist

by Sarah E. White

I’ve twisted my hair
For as long as I can remember
Remembering I have for a very long time
For sometimes I find myself nervous
Over and over I turn it again
Between my fingers and thumb it slips with a slow sliding rhythm
It relaxes me, my muscles start to loosen
Fall from their tightness of stress clinched emotion
The familiar feel of it all
Its bumpy texture soothes me
For, I am a child as I twist my hair
There is so much hair to twist
Twisting me back to a simpler time
When I could be me, where I could be me
Twisting through fingers again and again
I must twist it
Sooth it for a moment
Then again I twirl and wind it
Until my hands grow tired
My hands ache
But still my nerves need soothing
For my weary mind has exhausted itself
Through my fingers
It all slips away in the insane twisting of my hair

Fall Back into Me

by Sarah E. White

Hanging by a thread as it chokes me slowly
If I could just release
Give in and plummet
I might get my feet back under me
So I could brace for the impact that’s coming
I might just land on solid ground once again
But instead I dangle, waiting here
Hanging by that thread once more
My arms and legs thrashing at nothing
Trying to break free from this madness
If only I could fall
To feel the wind rush past me
As I drop into the depths of the unknown
To feel the day in, and day out, blow by me
In an exhilarating blur of progress
Why can’t I just let go?
To feel the initial rush of the falling
Letting go of the familiar is so hard to do
My stomach now in my throat
Freefalling into the darkness would make me feel something
If only for a little while
That short fall would give me a lifetime of knowledge
The freedom of dropping
Where no one could catch me
No one could stop me
To land once more on my own two feet
Once again stand with the standing
If only I could let go
So I could fall back into myself
Fall back into me

Henry’s walk of need

by Sarah E. White

Walking down the hallway of a thousand doors closed
Henry comes to one that will open
Stepping in with the first slivers of light
Light falling upon his true love for the first time
She’s lying on a bed of tangled sheets and dreams
Waiting for something, for someone
Needing to feel needed, to feel inspired
For it was as much a love afar of the mind as it was of their bodies
Two writers’ worlds intertwined with poetry madness
Bound tight by intertwined hopes and desires
Climbing in with her
His heart races with a thousand years of longing
He now feels the heat of her skin and smells the sweat in her hair
Meeting in a kiss they breathe each other in
His hands firm on her body
Her strong sinuous legs pull him in to her
Henry now feels her warm breath on his neck
Her lips feel hot with desire
Her hands are stronger than he expected
Her touch tingles through him, blood pumping harder through his veins
Henry barely holds onto her as she throws herself backwards
Backwards into a free fall of ecstasy
Immersing herself in all that is him
He finally has her, his June in his arms

Dark Corridor

by Sarah E. White

The wind was screaming, screaming her name
Nothing was blocking the frigid air from her soft white skin
She was running down a dark corridor of trees
Their black jagged limbs seemed to reach out and grab her
Exhausted she continued to run through the thick dampness that enveloped her body
Cold chills now covered her skin
Her heart was racing with fear, as she ran through the darkness
She breathed heavy as she struggled for breath.
Feeling so alive until a loud hollow sound snatched her away
Away to this painful place
The tiger’s claws now piercing her skin with reality
She’s fully awake as he bites down on her neck
The veracity of that pain shooting through her
Terminal illness
Could nothing be darker?
She longed for sleep to come
She wanted to drift off into the quietness
In her dreams she felt alive, her illness made damn sure of that
She was now going to return to her beautiful world of darkness
Pain would grip her life no more
The small bottle of pills so delicately placed by her bedside
Would do the job without any question
She took twenty, as she planned so long to do
Her dreams had only taken her so far
But soon she would be free
The corridor of trees led to freedom, and she did not want to be interrupted