Travelers Welcome

Travelers Welcome

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Getting There

by De Jackson

I am still listening to the rumble of
rubber on asphalt even as the salt

seeps into my skin. We’re still swallow
-ing bright yellow lines and vague road

signs as mile after mile after mile pulls
us farther and farther from home. The

radio sings through the static and though
it’s a long haul and the pace car is long

gone there’s plenty of daylight left and
we’ll keep going. But just between me

and you, that fork in the road back
there was the knife that sliced us in two.

8 comments:

  1. De, I like the imagery of this piece. It does have a rhythm that I like.
    (Can you explain your line breaks to me? I am interested in how and why people are choosing to make line breaks. Sometimes I can't figure out the pattern, if there is one. Like for instance: Why did you break the word swallow-ing? I'm also trying to understand how poets are using punctuation. Why didn't you use a period after the word: gone? or use comma after: haul?) I hope you don't mind my asking. I DO like this piece. I just feel my own writing could improve if I better knew the techniques that modern writers are using.

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Patricia. Thanks for your thoughtful questions. I PM'ed you on Facebook. ;)

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  2. Oh, De this is cutting...pun intended.
    Such reality and depth in this.

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  3. Amazing, De. The ending really packs a punch!

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  4. Wow, De, great poem! Loved the line, "the radio sings through the static"! It lead well to the ending. Your images were so fresh, I felt I was truly along for the ride! Wonderful!

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  5. "But just between me

    and you, that fork in the road back
    there was the knife that sliced us in two." Love it!!

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  6. Oh, De, I can't improve on the comments here. You've used combinations of phrases that would never have occurred to me for this poem. I guess I'm just to straightforward for such subtlety. I, too, like this piece, and the ending--I didn't see that curve in the road before I flew off the pavement.

    Great job!

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  7. Wow! Oh yes! Have to agree with previous comments. Nothing more to add, really, except... LOVE this! Nice work, De. :-)

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