A Once-in-a-Lifetime Deal

by Wayne Scheer

So this magic fairy
Says to me
Because I've been good--
My cholesterol is 136
I don't cheat on my wife
And I recycle--
He's been authorized
To make me
A once-in-a-lifetime
Deal.
You're sixty-five,
He reminds me.
According to 
The Natural order of things
You're going to get older,
Infirm and die.
That's your future.
But if he
Sprinkles me with his
Genuine, state-of-the-art
Fairy dust,
He promises
I'll get younger
And healthier
Until I end up
A teenager again.

I remember myself
At sixteen
Arms dangling
Voice changing
Hormones raging
And in less time
Than it would take me
To choose between
A NY pizza
And a poke in the eye
I tell him
I prefer  
The natural order of things.