the grand inquisitor of the office

by John Grochalski

the grand inquisitor of the office
wants to know why
i’m eating peanut butter again
on my lunch
wants to know what that stack
of paper is in my hand
why i haven’t shaved
the hair off of my neck in weeks
why i look down on such a sunny day
why i have gray hair in my beard
at my age
because her husband’s hair is still
a beautiful blonde
wants to know how old i am anyway
when my birthday is
wants to know how my vacation was
what did i do
how my niece is
what my wife is like
why i hate kids
isn’t satisfied when i tell her the vacation
was all right

the grand inquisitor of the office
wants to know if i want to order take out
with everyone else
if i eat pizza or chinese food
or just that peanut butter all of the time
wants me to throw a few bucks into the office
lottery pool
is still curious about that stack of paper
in my hands
or why i’m always reading one of those books
while she flips through her cell phone
and the new york post
wants to know why i bought those pants
that shirt
those shoes
questions why it is that i keep going to europe
when america ain’t so bad
gets nervous when i tell her that i hate disney
and intelligent design

the grand inquisitor of the office
says america love it or leave it
asks me why i don’t own a car
asks me more questions than my wife
wants to know
what would make me say something like that
has no sense of irony
no humor in her soul
tells me that she’ll still come to work
if they win that lottery pool
has probably never read dostoevsky
alone on a rain soaked day
wants to know why i come to work
with a hangover
and hide in my office for hours
gets confused when i ask her
where it is that she keeps her
pitchfork and horns
when she comes into the office
every morning.