an alternative to life

by Jim Bennett

if there was an alternative to the life
his parents wanted him to have
he was determined to find it

he tried religions
wandered through all of them
every prophet every good book
every preacher
every person offering a path
to a new life

tried every diet that he could
because it annoyed them
but that was a sidetrack
it didn’t help him -
though when he was a vegetarian
he thought it was nice
to see sheep without feeling guilty

he tried celebrity
the approbation of all
but that sucked
because he was eventually forgotten
and though he could not even
remember his name
his parents were still there

occasionally people asked
if he had once been him

later he tried drugs of all sorts
soon found that doctors
had the best gear
it saved him lots of money
once they gave up trying to cure him

eventually he stopped going
he found there was nothing much better
than alcohol for dulling the senses
and thought it was less sordid
once he got used to cleaning up the vomit
so he decided to try and drink himself
to heaven
succeeded for a while
but still woke in the same room
and was still himself
that was the bit he hated


eventually he found
an alternative to life
but he wasn’t able to say much about it
and getting there was a bugger