i'm sorry

by Linda M. Crate

i am the
secret keeper
tell me something you will never
hear it again if it's not meant
to be uttered,
and i've buried so many secrets
deep within myself
sometimes it's hard to tell
which ones are mine
anymore;
betrayed someone's confidence once
as a child, and i hated myself
for it so i vowed to take
an oath of silence—
my voice is but a whisper but it won't
speak anyone's business
anymore
because i am an ocean of distance
won't even divulge pieces
of me
until you dig through the sand,
and when you find a
nugget of me
you'll find that i'm already gone;
too many times i've been abandoned so i thought
i'd save us both the trouble
disappear
before you decided you'd hate me, too—
and, yes, i know it's
cowardice but i've never been brave
i'm sorry.