MEETING MR HAPPY

by Edgar Rider

At my job, I had become friends with, Tanya, the manager in training. She would change from here provocative outfits into her sleazy work attire. One day she asked me if I wanted to go to the strip club. This was the first time I ever met a woman who was asking me to go to a gentleman’s establishment. “I don’t know what the big deal is. Why women wont go to places like that. I would rather watch women dance anyway.” Tanya said twirling her hair.

“Okay.” I said of course ready to go.

We entered the strip club. Immediately, I noticed a huge poster, of a dancer,with the words now appearing in a movie with Charlie Sheen. This was when Charlie Sheen ,in the nineties, was making action pictures. This particular film was called "Terminal Velocity". I could see that this stripper thought she was high class and felt she was too good to be working this particular stage.

We sat at a table. Tanya began prodding me. “Give her a tip. Go get her stud.”

I fumbled through my wallet and picked out a bill. I walked over to the stage with her pointing for me to come over. I slightly slipped , while trying to put the dollar bill between her appendages.
She slapped me hard. “Dude what do you think your doing I’m not that kind of stripper.”

I walked back over to the table with Tanya laughing at me. I shrugged my shoulders. “ Should have given her a five.”

“C’mon lets ditch this place. “ Tanya said still laughing.

We ended up back at her apartment. “I need to get some thing out of the bedroom.” I immediately became excited and intrigued. Was this my shot. My hopes sank as she came back with a bong.

“Ed, Mr Happy. Mr. Happy, Ed.” She handed me the bong but I politely declined.
“BRB. Be right back.”

I stared into space thinking about my life. I don’t understand why I made such bad choices. Is this all there is. Is this the best I can do, working in a burger joint. suddenly, I heard a voice, a simple calm voice, calling me.

“May I ask you a question.”

I looked at the bong somewhat surprised. “Are you talking to me.”

“Yes just a moment of your time.”

“About what.”

“Your life,Ed. Your life.

“What about it?”

“What are you doing with it?”

“I’m in school.”

“One class a semester.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“I am a talking bong. I know all I see all.”

“So what should I do?”

“Take charge of your life, Ed. If you want to change your life. Get serious. Work hard. Stay in school. Graduate.” Mr. Happy smiled back at me encouraging. How strange that the talking bong was making more sense than myself.

Tanya came back into the room. She paused for a minute as she watched me talking to the inanimate object. I realized I had been talking to myself the whole time.

“You and Mr. Happy getting acquainted.” She looked back and smiled. “ You sure you don’t want any.”

I grabbed the bong. “What the hell.”

“Smoke me,” Mr Happy said with a grin. At this moment, Mr. Happy made a lot of sense.