The Dumbest Things I Ever Heard

by Melanie Browne

When I
Was a kid

Authority figures
Always gave advice

Mr. Rogers gave advice on
“Friendly" and
“Helpful” people in my
Neighborhood

Smokey the Bear
On fire safety
“Only you can
Prevent forest fires"

The five food groups
What to say to the new kid
In school

And other
Useless crap
Along the years.

So much inane
Garbage
Soaking into
My ears as
I slept

Making its
Way into
My brain.

Yet Smokey the Bear
And Mr. Rogers
Have never made
An appearance
In my dreams

Only the celebrities
Get that far.