It was what it was now that it isn't anymore

by Amy Soricelli

i used to care enough on alone days to dig deep under the bed  searching like a sailor for buried secrets
maybe a love letter would uncurl its edges remind me why the heart beats the eyes flutter.
i don't care enough anymore for that.

i used to care enough on rainy sacks of clouds to warm up cozy with wine incense.
maybe a sudden shift in the air would drift by on a sensuous reminder of lust hair tossed back thrown down.
i don't care enough anymore for that.

i used to care enough to stomp my feet hard down i would say this i would say that i would drag my thoughts
along in a heaped up paper bag spill them out like blue glass marbles.
i don't care enough anymore for that.

i used to care enough to scrape the hate off the walls off the ugly world draw its bleak curtains fast into light
swirl the cement mixer shiny yellows pull cotton balls from  five year old sticky fingers.
i don't  care enough anymore for that.

now i roll away down a bridge.
hear me splash.
watch  me sink