Travelers Welcome

Travelers Welcome

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Bottle of Rum

by Michael Frissore

Michael Savage, to me,
sounds just like Howard Stern,
who sounds just like
Alexander Portnoy in
Philip Roth’s Portnoy’s Complaint,
which is why when I heard Savage
recommend gargling with scotch
to cure a sore throat,
I should have just used
salt and water like my mother says
instead of substituting rum for the
scotch and pouring straight rum
into my mouth and gagging even
worse than I do if I use salt and water.

My wife sang Yo ho ho and
a bottle of rum
for weeks
afterwards and even convinced
me I had scurvy.

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