The Evidence

by M.P. Powers

joe's a self-professed homophobe

his jokes are bad,
obvious: "ya hear duh one 'bout
duh tree faggots?"

he rattled off a few of those
at the bar
the other day

and then started telling jim
and a few others
about his latest
fling

someone he met in the bahamas

"my wife ain't givin
it to me no moah," he said, "so what
duh fuck?"

"anyway, i snuck out at foah
in duh moahnin...
told duh
old lady
i had tuh go tuh work early

next i know
i'm drivin into miami beach
i get tuh her house
climb a trellis
coz
i don't wanna wake her kids
ya know

and duh broad's waitin
fer me naked
in duh middle uh duh room

a few minutes latuh
we're goin at it

pair uh legs wrapped around my
neck

and moanin?

ya nevuh heard such moanin...

i'm tinkin 'bout the kids
and duh bedpost
bangin

i tink we did it
in every
position
an'
den
when we were done
we snuggled
in bed

fine-ass bed
wit a canopy and everyting...

so dare we are
spoonin..."

jim interrupted

"when you were spooning," he asked,
"were you in front
or in back?"

"in back, why's it mattah?"

"no, i'm just saying, when you were back there
did you ever think
to reach up between his
legs
and grab onto his
balls?"

everyone laughed
joe leaped
off his barstool and wrapped
his arm
around
jim's neck

"ya know i could snap dis ting
if i wanted
to..."

"you could
jim said, "but did you ever hear the one about
the really angry
faggot?"

he torqued his arm
then
let go

apparently
he did

he knew that one
by
heart