breakfast of champions

by John Grochalski

i turn to wake my wife up
before the alarm goes off

but she’s already awake

the cat is on the bed, crying for her food

we both pet her

my wife tells me that she has been up
off and on since three-thirty

so have i, i say

i think it’s odd that at moments over
the last few hours of this early morning
we’ve both been up and silent

is anything wrong? i ask

my wife turns and lays on my chest

she tells me that it’s nothing, really
she’s just worried about traveling and planes
about our vacation to italy not coming together

but then she’s honest
she tells me she’s worried about the drinking

we sit and drink all day every sunday, she says

wine, scotch, and more wine, i think
we drink and watch tv

but i say nothing
just nod in the dark

my stomach is sick, she says
mine too, i say

i feel fat and bloated
so do i

we both have to get an angle on this, i say
but we always say that
we’ve tried for years

only three drinks after work
but it becomes four or five or six

one bottle of wine each weekend night
but by then time we go to bed it’s two and then some

three or four or five beers at the bar

and if we have the day off?
then it’s the breakfast of champions

i don’t know what to do, i tell my wife
we need someone to come in here and play adult

we’ll cut back, she says
although i knew that was coming

right, i say

only have three drinks after work
and on weekends we’ll do one bottle of wine

take up jogging again

no beer
no bar

and if the urge hits us too early on sunday
then we’ll go for a walk

it’s a good plan, my wife says

then she gets off of my chest
she gets out of bed to start the day
as the cat keeps purring and meowing beside me

it is a good plan, i think

it must be

because we keep doing it over and over again
hoping that one day it’ll finally stick.