The Complexity of Love

by Wayne Scheer

I had been in a deep sleep when I opened my eyes and saw Emily standing over me, smiling.

"Surprise," she said, dropping her clothes to the floor and scrambling under the covers.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying not to sound ungrateful.

"I couldn't sleep. Then I remembered I still had your key."

"I'm glad you're here." I kissed her and felt her mouth open to meet mine.

She pushed me away. "That smell. You've been with--"

I didn't deny it.

She sat up. The sheet slid down, exposing two perfect breasts. "I shouldn't have come here, Todd. I thought you were over her."

"I am. It's just that--" I wasn't sure how to finish the sentence or if I wanted to. She finished it for me.

"It's just that you needed to see her one more time. Just like the time before. And the time before that." She tried sounding strong, but her voice cracked.

"You left me. Remember? You said it was over between us." I tried taking her in my arms but she pulled away, covering herself with the sheet.

"Do you still love her?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" She shouted and cried at the same time.

"Abby and I have so much history together. I mean we were married."

"And you were divorced."

"Yes."

"When was she here?"

"She left a few hours ago."

"And did you have sex?"

"Yes."

There was a long pause.

"I feel like such a fool."

"Listen to me," I said. "You're the one I care about now, but I can't ignore what Abby and I had. She called me around eight and asked if she could come over. She had a bad day at work and needed to talk. She was lonely." I took Emily's hand. "I was lonely, too."

She pulled her hand away. "Don't you think I miss you? But I don't share."

"I wouldn't expect you to."

"When will you be over her? When will she be over you?"

"I don't know."

We both lay very still.

"I love you," I finally said.

"I love you, too." She rolled out of bed. I watched her put on her clothes as quickly as she had taken them off.