I Like Pepsi Better Anyway

by Melanie Browne

I believe the world could sing in perfect harmony. It would just take a lot of practice.

There would be a lot of logistical problems. People might not show up for rehearsals,

some of them would be busy strapping themselves with bombs, others might

think they were too fancy, they would stay home and drink tea and do crossword puzzles

while watching porn. That’s ok. Let them do their own thing. I would like to buy a bunch of station wagons so

we can get a lot of people to sing in perfect harmony. Everybody can bring a sack lunch and wrap their drinks in

foil like we used to do when we were kids going on field trips. There might be gang activity. Drugs. Violence.

At first we can expect some of that. Aromotherapy might calm people’s nerves. Lavender. We could fill the air with the smell of lavender.

So a bunch of people with sack lunches smelling lavender learning to sing in perfect harmony.

I really haven’t figured all of this out. I mean I guess we will need porta potties. Even people singing in perfect Harmony need to pee and poop.

Is that expensive? Renting those things? Nobody gets breakfast in bed or anything like that.

Just the sack lunch. Station wagons guzzle a lot of gas.