Travelers Welcome

Travelers Welcome

Thursday, July 4, 2013

July 4th Barbecue
for Kermit Gosnell, M.D.

by Donal Mahoney

Every year Dr. Gluck,
the famed gynecologist,
invites his nurses to his ranch
for his July 4th barbecue.

The nurses and their husbands
drive miles to watch the doctor
twist the necks of 20 chickens
before he dips the fowl, some
still wriggling, in a big vat
of boiling water to remove
the feathers before he tears
the legs and wings off
and places the parts
neatly on the grill.

Everyone agrees the meat
is wonderful, as is the sauce.
No knife is needed except
to butter the fresh-baked rolls.
The slaw and potato salad
have no peer, the nurses say.
They claim the same is true
of his ice cream and pecan pie.

The perfection of this feast
is no mystery, really.
Every July 4th Dr. Gluck
celebrates America and
demonstrates outdoors
the skills he's honed
indoors for 30 years.
The nurses agree, however,
the fetuses don't wriggle
as much as the chickens do
and it's nice the fetuses
go in a bucket
and not on a grill.

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